


Thoughts from his bed at 11pm

by bananagirl-97 (therideisfarfromover)



Category: How to Get Away with Murder
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Episode: s01e07 He Deserved to Die, F/M, In Bed, Late Night Conversations, Opening Up, Sleepy Cuddles, Two Shot, deep meaningful chats
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-09
Updated: 2014-11-09
Packaged: 2021-03-08 03:06:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,040
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26978557
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/therideisfarfromover/pseuds/bananagirl-97
Summary: Set in 1x07. "I wasn't born in Ohio." In which Wes reflects on his past and Rebecca thinks about what could be her future- if Wes is with her. Two-shot.
Relationships: Wes Gibbins/Rebecca Sutter
Kudos: 3





	1. Wes

**Author's Note:**

> So I may have started watching How To Get Away With Murder… And I MAY have become completely obsessed with every freaking aspect of that show but whatever. So yeah, I kind of love Wes and Rebecca together, and it seems to be a minority ship with nowhere near enough fanfiction for my liking, so here's my thoughts on their thoughts during their cute little convo in episode 7, as well as some ideas on the backstories of these characters. Obviously, this is based on what we know so far. Everything could change by next week. Anyway- enjoy this little two-shot that was floating round in my head. Chapter one is Wes' pov, Chapter 2 is Rebecca. 
> 
> [Reupload of a story I posted on FF.net as bananagirl.97]

" _You were born in Ohio. Willowick is in Ohio; I looked it up. You don't seem very Ohio, except for the dopey smile you have on your face all the time."_

It's weird for him to think of Ohio. He's only been in Philly 3 months but it feels a lifetime away. Here he has a purpose; here he can make a difference. He can protect people. He can protect her… She's probably right about the dopey smile. Wes knows that being from Ohio has made him soft- it's probably why this job is harder for him than the others; even though he pretends it isn't.

" _I wasn't born in Ohio, I was born in Haiti. My mom moved us here when I was one. I was the only black kid in our town."_

He was always going to be different. As kids no one cares, but as he got older he knew that it was different. He felt isolated. Insecure. He had friends, of course he did, he was a charming guy, but he knew that sometimes they looked at him and just thought… he's different to us.

" _Everyone wanted me to be good at basketball but I sucked."_

He's ten years old and he's trying for the basketball team. He's not quite sure why he's doing this- he's never really been one for sports (except for his bike, which he couldn't live without). He just guessed that the whispers in his ear sounded like good suggestions. All of his friends said that this would make him something special. He was bound to be good… It went horribly. He could see the teacher cringe whenever he tried to make a pass and missed. His friends and mom were at the side cheering him on, but he felt their empty praise. Note to self: Wes Gibbins was not meant to be an athlete.

" _I'm allergic to peanuts,"_

He remembers being six years old and eating a chocolate without looking what was in it. He was rushed into hospital. He remembers his mom panicking and holding his hand so tight that he was unsure if she was ever going to let it go again…

" _I have a really bad sense of direction"_

Now he's sixteen and his girlfriend suggests they go for a walk down to the lake. This is his big chance, to be romantic and prove he's a good boyfriend. Also, he's a sixteen year old male- alone time isn't something he's going to complain about. After half an hour he comes to the conclusion they are well and truly lost. He sighs to himself- just another thing to add to the list of things he can't do. He sighs even more when she ends up calling her older brother to come pick them up; as if this whole thing wasn't humiliating enough already.

" _My mom killed herself when I was twelve… She was sweet, funny, and messed up too. It sucked"_

He still misses her. He lies to himself and says that it was almost a decade ago and he should be over it, but he knows he never will be. He remembers that dark day as clearly as if it were yesterday: the principal calling him out of class, the way he cried into his shirt sleeves, having to go home and pack up his things to move in with his neighbours- his new guardians. He remembers that it was what made him want to help people. Help the pawns of this world that had been messed up purely by the system. Those who underneath the mess had hints of being sweet and funny.

" _My favourite ice cream is mint chocolate chip,"_

That was what they always used to eat when they got good news. His mom got a new job- they would go out for ice cream. He got a good report card- they went for ice cream. His favourite team won the football- go out for ice cream. She would always have strawberry, and he would always have mint choc chip- green was his favourite colour. The taste of it now reminded him of childhood.

" _I've never been to Europe,"_

He used to spend hours in his bedroom poring over atlases. That was what he wanted to do- Wes Gibbins; explorer of every corner of the globe. He wanted to go to France, and India, and Peru, and Germany, and did he mention France? Europe seemed so full of life and culture and history, so much more than his boring home town. At eight years old, he just wanted to escape…

" _I'm afraid of heights."_

He's thirteen and Mr and Mrs Greenwood have sent him to summer camp as a treat. As they have only been his legal guardians for a year, they spoil him more than their own children. They signed everyone up to do abseiling, but as he gets to the top of the tower, his eyes get hazy. He has never been this high up before, so he'd never even realised it. Damn it.

" _Someday I want a dog, but not from a breeder or the pound…"_

He's always wanted a puppy, which now seems ironic given his nickname, but it was never an option as a child. His mom wasn't really in the best state to look after a pet as well as a child, and after she had died, he felt that a puppy would provide too much laughter- and he didn't deserve to have that. Now that he's older, he knows how stupid that thought was, and the idea of a dog appeals to him.

As he lies in bed with his hand grazing Rebecca's bare back, he wonders whether they could ever get a dog together. Well that's definitely a stupid thought… he checks himself. He's known her less than 3 months, he shouldn't let his mind get ahead of him. He knows that she's not good for him, and he doesn't even know if she'll manage to keep out of jail; but he also knows that he's in too deep to escape now, and that he loves this moment right now with her in his bed beside him. Wes Gibbins knows that he has done what he's always done- he's failed himself. This time though, he strangely likes the feeling.


	2. Rebecca

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Here's the Rebecca POV.

_REBECCA_

" _You were born in Ohio. Willowick is in Ohio; I looked it up. You don't seem very Ohio, except for the dopey smile you have on your face all the time."_

She's not quite sure why she brings it up in the first place. She just wanted him to know that she cared. She had looked it up and that meant that she cared. She knew that she was messed up for caring. She was a stupid crack whore and here was a guy who was sweet and noble and a fighter, yet he wanted her. She shouldn't have abused that. She hates herself for giving in, but her face won't stop smiling and she thinks about his dopey smile and it gives her a very small glimpse of hope for her future. She's a bitch.

" _I wasn't born in Ohio, I was born in Haiti. My mom moved us here when I was one. I was the only black kid in our town."_

He starts to open up to her and she's a bit unsure of what to do. Sharing your life story is a bit intimate, isn't it? Sure, they had just had sex, but this was different; this made him vulnerable.

" _Everyone wanted me to be good at basketball but I sucked."_

She imagines him trying to play basketball, and she can't help but laugh. The picture stays in her mind. A sweet child, before he met her or Annaliese Keating or anyone who could take advantage of his good heart, and she sees the face of a child who was just as curious about the world as he is now. She likes that face.

" _I'm allergic to peanuts,"_

She catalogues every food she likes with peanuts in it and decides she no longer likes them. She's being thoughtful and it's pathetic. She hates herself for it.

" _I have a really bad sense of direction"_

That intrigues her. She always seems him so organised and put together, that a lost Wes is an image that amuses her deeply. She can't help thinking that she wants them to wander off into the woods, without a map. She wants him to lose his bearings and for them to get stuck out in the middle of nowhere with only each other's company. She definitely likes the sound of that.

" _My mom killed herself when I was twelve… She was sweet, funny, and messed up too. It sucked"_

And now she curses herself that she even suggested that he had a messed up mom. She hates herself even more. She suddenly understands why he's so desperate to help the others around him; he's saving everyone else because he couldn't save his mom. She also understands why he's so loyal to Annaliese- she's the closest that he's got to a mother. She resents the fact that she has two parents that are alive but that she hasn't talked to in years, and she wonders if they even heard about her trial, or thought about paying her bail. She thinks of her own mother, and the fact that she has kind eyes, and in her moment of weakness, Rebecca misses those eyes. No, she mustn't be weak, especially now she knows. She must attempt to be strong for Wes. God knows that's all he's done for her, and that he has done it again and again and again…

" _My favourite ice cream is mint chocolate chip,"_

She'll go buy him some after this. She'll go to the closest convenient store and buy a tub that they can share as they continue to divulge all their secrets. She has this inexplicable urge to make him happy, and she doesn't quite understand why. Maybe it's because he trusts her, when he has no reason to? It can't be because she's falling for him. She doesn't fall for anyone. Even if he does make her stomach twist a bit, and that the sex felt like it meant so much more than sex has ever meant to her. She needs to stop thinking.

" _I've never been to Europe,"_

She imagines them checking out the music scene in Paris, and making out in public because the French couldn't care less. She imagines walking around in an unknown city, in an unexplored country and not having to worry about being recognised as the psycho slut drug-dealing may be murderer. She imagines Wes speaking fluent Spanish as they sat on the beach far from any troubles. She curses herself for imaging such stupid, romantic, petty things.

" _I'm afraid of heights."_

She wants to be the only one there to help him through his fear. She's selfish but that fact was already known. She wants to be the one holding on to his hand so tight that it promises to never let go. She wants to be the one to kiss him to make him forget any fear he may once have had.

" _Someday I want a dog, but not from a breeder or the pound…"_

She smiles at the thought of 'the puppy' with a puppy, and she knows that it would make the rest of the Keating 5 laugh too. She always wanted a Labrador. Maybe if she doesn't go to jail, she and Wes can take the time to fall in love and then buy a Labrador together. Ugh, feelings are gross.

She's getting to know him better than she could've imagined, and her body is wrapped around his in a way that is way too couple-y for her liking. She's scared that she'll have to be open with him too, but for once, when she actually thinks about it, she finds that she may not be scared at all. Instead she may just be a little bit high on this adrenaline rush, and it makes her miss doing coke, but at the same time, she relishes this feeling. She's never felt so alive.


End file.
